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Monday, May 18, 2015

Crucial date this morning...in Tel Aviv

Mr. Mike Bloomberg 
Sir,
I have been volunteering at The World Federation for Moroccan Jewry.  It's been a full four years.   I earn about 4000,- a month playing guitar in the market in Jerusalem and Ashdod. I still have not entered a red cent into the Federation besides the 400,- I give or 10% of my monthly receipts.  The Federation has a long and prestigious reputation as a philanthropic organization with a 110 branches throughout Israel and the world.  Since I am a close friend of the President of this organization, I was honored to hand out 2.5 Million Shekels in scholarships to impoverished students last year.  Someone still has faith in me.
I cannot begin to describe the great satisfaction I have from working here, with the well loved and imminent personality, Mr. Sam Ben Chetrit...and being given such an opportunity to fulfill my life's ambition which is to bring the remains of RabbiNachman to Jerusalem.  If you would accept this project as yours sir, you would be culminating the efforts of President Hertzog, President Peres, President Clinton, President Leonid Kruziok, The great Prime Minister Rabin, and last but by far, not least: Rabbi Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman who changed the name of the Lira to Shekel and is the reason for the four people appearing on the Shekel are who they are.  You certainly understand the value of value to an economy. Commodities do not represent value only demand over supply.  Currency reflects the value of the people on it, no less than a politician or manager affects his company with his personality.
I am therefore confident that you will enter in contact with my organization and we can bring the bones of Rabbi Nachman to bury them next to King David on Mt Zion.  I would be glad to explain to anyone you chose how this will bring immediate peace to the middle east.  Needless to say, you will become infinitely wealthy as a result and I can say in full confidence you will not have any limitations in time to spend your wealth since people will no longer be dying (!).
It would be appropriate for you sir, to send your envoy to me and Mr Sam BenChetrit of course we will receive him with the full honors to the best of our ability.  This is the type of opportunity you have never had, in fact no one ever has had before, since the beginning of time. Tomorrow I will be making a formal request from the street in front of the Russian Embassy, you could send a reporter on location to get the scoop.

Mordecai Spiro

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