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Sunday, November 13, 2011

From an ongoing translation of the holy words of Saba Yisroel

Rabbi Yisroel Karduner did not want to budge from Meron. What did the Holy Blessed One do to him, he sent him a malady on one of his hands, and the pain was so excruciating that it was impossible, in a natural manner, to endure such pain, and he was unable [to do the rectification of] midnight, and not to pray, and not to learn... a pity... so Rabbi Yisroel accounted this, not like the world, to chance, on the contrary he knew with complete faith that this was from H”Y, and he began to think, perhaps H”Y desires that he should travel to Tiberius, because in Tiberius the cold isn't so great, so his malady won't hurt so much, he had such excruciating pain, and he could serve H”Y? But he was uncertain, he did not know clearly that the desire of H”Y was that he should go to Tiberius, so he did not budge from Meron, even though he was in great pain. But he saw that the pain was intensifying more every time, and it was impossible for him to serve Hashem. So he did a lot of hisbodidus and he prayed a lot to H”Y, that He should illuminate in his mind with complete elucidation, if H”Y wants that he should travel to Tiberius, that he should know clearly that he should go to Tiberius. So he did a lot of hisbodidus on this and he prayed a lot on this, and after all of this, he opened the book Likutay Halachos, and he found in it that the desire of the Blessed Creator is that he should travel to Tiberius. I know that this book was (the volume of) Yoare Daya, from the first publication of Rabbi Nussun, there wasn't then publication like today. So since he knew clearly that the Blessed Creator desired him to go to Tiberius, so he arose early in the morning, could he not have waited until after Shabbos? Only – since he knew that this was the desire of H”Y, immediately “and Abraham arose early in the morning” (the verse from the Bible, the story of the sacrificing of Isaac) and he went on Thursday to Tiberius. In this week that Rabbi Yisroel came on Thursday to Tiberius, in this week, on Sunday, we started to bake bread for sale, because our livelihood had been from grinding coffee and it was then war time, so there was no coffee and we did not have any means for providing a livelihood, so a relative of ours, a relative, Rav Binyomin Barzel, yes, he supported my mother, like his own mother, and then father and mother they thought that we should begin to bake bread. But who would give us even one kilo of flour in order to bake bread? Because everyone knew that we were poor. So she went to Rav Binyomin Barzel, and he said to her, “no... don't fear, I will tell the grinder and the flour dealer to give you a sack, two sacks, how ever much you need.” So we started baking bread on Sunday, and he (R' Yisroel Karduner) came precisely in this week on Thursday, and he needed bread for suuper, and when he got off the donkey and met Rabbi Binyomin Barzel (he recognized him from Meron) he asked him, and said to him, “do a mitzva, show me where I can obtain, to buy a loaf of bread.” So Binyomin Barzel knew that we had started baking bread, so he brought him to us. And H”Y brought about that I brought out the bread. We were five siblings in the house, and there were those older than me, and it was Divine Providence that I took the loaf of bread and gave it to Rabbi Yisroel. When I saw Rabbi Yisroel, his visage, so/then I thought this man is a hidden Tzadik, and by him I will find what I am searching, faith and fear of Heaven. I thought this, and he put his hand into the wallet and took out money to pay me for the bread, and I am thinking this, then he says (he gave me the money and says) to me, “perhaps it is possible to eat the bread by you in the house?” Then/so I felt that he know my thoughts and my desire, that I want to connect with him. But I saw that this was very improbable, because father would not agree to this, not because he didn't want, (but) because we needed already on Thursday, it is necessary to bake Chala (loaves of bread for Shabbos) and bread to preapare for Shabbos, and it is necessary to make night and to sleep, and also the house is small and we do not have place for a guest to eat, and he (father) will diss me, “What are you asking such a question?”... But I wanted to have a connection with Rabbi Yisroel, I fortified myself with all my strength, and I said whatever will be, even if my father hits me and demeans me, I will aske father, be what may be. So I asked, and father said, “yes, yes, there are some leftovers from the cooked food, so give it to him, he will eat the bread plain? Bread alone? So give him...” So/then I was that this was Divine Providence from H”Y, supernatural, that I should have a connection with this holy tzadik, and so it was. They made night, they blessed the after blessing on the food, and they recited the Shema and they went, they lay down to sleep. And I remained, I and Rabbi Yisroel alone. He sat on a step of the house, and I gave him the bread to eat, and he washed his hands and made the blessing of Hamoatzy (on bread), and when I heard the blessing from him, on the washing of hands and blessing of Hamoatzy, I saw that it is correct, this is a hidden tzaddik. Because such a blessing I never heard. I grew up amongst hasidim and people who studied Torah and feared God, but such a blessing I never heard. And also, such a countenance and visage, like Rabbi Yisroel (Karduner) had I never saw. So/then I gave him the leftovers from the meal so that he should eat, so/then he tells me, “I do not eat anything, just bread and tea.” But we did not have tea, and we did not have a kerosene machine, just the wealthy had a Kerosene machine, but the poor used charcoal, and this is a craft that one needs to know how to make the fire, and I did everything until I successfully ignited the fire, and I made tea. And every time I entered the house and I said to Rabbi Yisroel, I did not know that he was Breslov, I knew just that he was a hidden tzaddik, I said to him in a whisper secretly and in the ear, I said to him (in respectful third plural tense), “know that you came to Tiberius for me, I want so very much to serve Hashem in truth and I undergo harsh battles, and I am searching my whole life, I am searching a place that will guide me and illuminate in me the light of Hashem, that I should merit to serve Hashem in truth, so H”Y sent you to me to save me. You came to Tiberius for me, and I ask you not to abandon me.” I saw that he was very moved, because immediately upon getting off the donkey, “HY brought him to me and he hears such words. He had to travel earlier, but he, as long as he did not have complete clarity that he needs to travel to Tiberius, did not want to budge from Meron, nu, oy vay.... And after he ate, we went.

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