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Sunday, July 26, 2009

2,222th POST

Have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'm happy to have a catchy title to catch eveyone's attention. On the other hand, I am disappointed to say the least that no one even mentioned the Yahrzeit of Saba's Rebbetzin & Aishes Chayil during the other week, which was on the 25th of Tamuz. For giving the benefit of the doubt, it is true that this year, it fell out on Erev Shabbos, so I guess everyone was getting ready to prepare for the weekly Aishes Chayil. So why did I wait until now? Believe it or not, I was ready to write a special post in honor and memory of Rebbetzin Esther Mindel Odesser, of blessed memory, that very evening in the previous week on Thursday night, but my computer became sick while on this very site, so I didn't have easy internet access until now, now that it seems to have had a Refuah Shleima (though it may have a loose wiring problem).

Anyways, before proceeding, since everything is by Hashgacha Peratis - Divine Providence, which I spoke pertaining to this if you scroll down a bit about my piece on the two Nanachs who recently passed away, the number two is very related to a woman, especially a wife, since as we see in the Talmud in Maseches Shabbos that one's wife is called a house - Bayis, which is Beis as the 2nd letter of the Alef Beis. In this scenario, this is the 2,222th post of, using the number 2 four times. The Tefillin boxes each contain inside them four sections of the Torah, and they each have four sides to them which are called a Bayis or Batim in plural, and while the men have a Mitzva to put them on, a woman does not need to put on Tefillin since she is a Bayis herself; meaning, she is on a spiritual level that we are not on so she does not have a need to put on Tefillin.

As it turns out, as Amram Horovitz of blessed memory, grandson of Saba & Rebbetzin Esther Mindel, who was appointed by Saba to run the Keren, just passed away, quoting a piece from a Sefer printed from the Keren - Yisroel Saba - pertaining to the value of a woman - will be a wonderful way of doing something L'Ilui Nishmaso, as Shalom & Achdus begins at home - most especially with one's spouse. Note that the following words (from page 253 in the Hebrew) are from Saba himself. He certainly knew how to treat his wife well; and despite their dire poverty which caused the passing of their Bechor (firstborn) whom they named Nachman who died from starvation, it didn't lead to a divorce, despite Saba's devotion of living his full potential as a Breslover Chosid as opposed to having a "real job". Compare this to today when other married couples - many who are both professionals - have so much more in the way of materialism, and yet have fights and get divorced over such petty things - especially in contrast to how life was in the early 1900s in poverty stricken Palestine (which Israel was called in those days).

"Our Rabbis of blessed memory gave a title to the wife "Akeres HaBayis" (literally means barren wife, but can be translated into a quite opposite meaning): Ikar HaBayis - Mainstay of the house, Akeres coming from the root word Ikar which means the main thing. Mainstay of the house - the woman/wife. It's also not good when a wife works in other places."

"Rabbeinu HaKadosh (Rabbeinu Nachman) lights up for us to know the truth as to how the wife is the mainstay of the house. He speaks at length at to how merciful one is supposed to be for a wife. Rabbeinu HaKadosh - how much did he warn and obligate one to honor his wife, to have mercy on her, and assist her in every possible way that he can help her with, to help her with everything. The Torah warns us to give all the honor/respect to his wife, but in the way of the Torah. Rabbeinu HaKadosh commands us very much to have merc and honor his wife, to have mercy on her, to help her, yes."

"Rabbeinu HaKadosh says in "Sefer HaMidos", and the Gemoro also speaks of this thing. This is the wording of the Gemoro, "One who divorces his wife, he will not succeed through this"! It's not good to divorce his wife; on the contrary, we need Sholom Bayis (peace in the home)" (NOTE: In these days, more often than not, it's the woman who initiates the divorce proceedings because it is the husband who has a lack of respect for her, even if not physically violent towards her. Verbal abuse even to a simple Jew is the Aveira of O'nohas Devorim - hurting one's feelings through words, it's far worse doing the same to one's wife).

"I was close to (the teachings of) Rabbeinu, I got married, but I didn't know from this, I didn't know from my own logic the greatness of the value of a woman. I didn't think about this, I thought that she serves us at home, and that nothing is coming to her. (NOTE: The wife in relationship to the husband is compared to Zevulun working to support Yissochor learning Torah, which in both cases, they both share in the Heavenly reward equally). But Rabbeinu HaKadosh drives us home to the point, he lights up for us all the lights of the Torah of everything."

"We need to have mercy on our wives, Rabbeinu HaKadosh thinks of how the wife bears so much in her life with the birth of her children, and the raising of her children, and she buys everything, and she cooks, and she...everything, everything is the wife. She bears in her life far more than we do, from the children, what she bears in her lifetime..."

"The world doesn't speak of this, it's as though the wife is a dog. Oy vei, Rabbeinu HaKadosh feels, he reveals the the extent of the mercy that we need to have for her, we need to honor/respect her, yes."

The good news here is that any Nanach who may feel that he may have trouble finding a Shidduch because he is a Nanach can show this (The Sefer Yisroel Saba is also printed in English) to any Shadchan or prospective mate. As for myself, I hope that this piece that I posted here publicly which I hope will make a positive difference in people's lives will be a Zechus for me to find a Shidduch - Shimon Matisyahu HaLevi Ben Sarah.

P.S. As a play on words - Rabbeinu HaKadosh can be reread as Rabbeinu HaKiddushin - our Rebbe (Gematria of 212, and the timing of this post is 2:12 PM) of Kiddushin - marriages. Not only that Rabbeinu can help us as a Shaliach of Hashem to find us Shidduchim, but that his words of Torah about marriage can help us live a successful marriage. And oh yes, the fact that a woman is called a Bayis, like Bais=2 does not mean that she is a 2nd class citizen compared to a man. It's that she is the second letter of the Alef Beis that is the beginning letter of the Torah - the BIG Beis in Bereishis!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Our generation has to fix two things. We have not fixed the relationship between Adam and Eve, and we have not fixed the relationship between Cain and Abel, between Jews and non-Jews. Basically, the same people who don’t know how to relate to women also don’t know how to relate to non-Jews. — Shlomo Carlebach